Where to begin.
Camille, I called you Camilla, akin you were to her skin.
Yet now you remind me of the dark lady, Carmilla.
Of the fiery gypsy whore, Carmen.
I, the fool, Don Jose.
I knew you for 5 years.
We started off as idiot, fucked up kids on an online camming site, cheers.
On there you saw and came to know everything about me and my fears.
Having unresolved mother issues I could never trust a woman, never let one in, none were clear.
But you, I let you in, you were one of the few my dear said I with a leer.
You said you’d visit but I didn’t believe you’d appear.
Then it was arranged and decided that you would come near.
Come you did without fear.
Your look, your aura, your scent.
Everything caught me.
You were a witch of the flame & I the wandering moth.
The sex was great.
For the 1st 3 days, I was struck dumb as if it was fate.
I didn’t think people could be so happy, my dear mate.
After the 3rd day though you closed up.
And before I knew it I was used like a poor little pup.
You said you were tired of all this.
I guess somewhere along the path I went amiss.
I forgot to be a man and you wanted to have fun.
Because girls just want to have fun, isn’t that right hun.
Jezebel.
Morgana le Fay.
Circe.
You did what you thought you had to do.
You made me a man the night I kicked your ass to the curb.
Thank you Jen for being her saving grace superb but not disturb.
I shall speak of her to no one but nevermore.
The other half of this lesson.
Cameron.
I knew you for 4 years.
You saved me from a pit of homelessness.
A saving grace where I knew nothing but hopelessness.
A false light.
You were my dearest friend.
More of a father to me back then than my own father was.
Were more of a brother to me than my own brother is now.
A mentor.
A brother.
I fucking loved you.
I would’ve done terrible things for you, for true in two.
And you threw it all away for some fucking whore, in so you bid adieu.
You taught me how to be a man.
How to care for a car as if it was a kinsman.
How to chop wood.
How to properly cook good.
How to pop a bottle of booze with a lighter, proper as I should.
You taught me how booze is medicine for when you’re sick and have to work as is part of adulthood.
You taught me about spirituality and God.
When you had to kill your dog, I was the one there to dig the grave, to send your baby on her merry way, with both of us only the frauds.
When your father had cranial issues I was there for you like two peas in a pod.
We’d spend many a night talking about wonders, trials, and tribulations, us two awed.
Learning from one another to the wee hours of the morning.
I really did love you.
All those moments tarnished.
All that was sacred and precious.
Cast to the void and made meaningless.
All of it lost like tears in the rain.
A man should know better.
You did what you thought you had to do.
You begged for forgiveness that day I called and confronted you like a failed coup.
Silly man.
There is no talk that comes with this kind of forgiveness.
Only pain.
9 years of totality, lost in vain.
The two of you cast away from this idea of paradise with nobody left to reign.
Man and Woman.
Adam and Eve.
Like so to them so to you that from the sweat of your brow you shall toil till the day you die.
Funny and in an ending most ironic to my eye.
In our separation.
The parting gift.
The final lesson that you gave to me.
Cameron, was in how to be a man.
I have learned my lesson.
